Tuesday, April 23, 2013

a little on marriage...



I stood in the parking lot of my Graces school this morning crying out again to the Lord. I have a friend who is going through some circumstances in her marriage and we often drop off our girls and  end up on that pavement finding our way to the biggest God revelations about marriage and life...he always shows up for us.


My own husband and I do not have a perfect marriage. In fact we have been on the brink of divorce many times...and the two of us struggle in our own ways to be one. We fight each other daily, trying to change each other and many times we have often thought we made a mistake.

But God makes no mistakes.

And when I see this...


When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.  Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.  Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”


It stirs up something in me.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Let no man separate. What strikes me about this is what he says will separate two people.

Its sin.

Its man.

Its Satan.

Its our selfish desires.

Its our thinking that we deserve more than what we have.

Its believing the lie that we are being punished for something.

Its believing the lie that we are unlovable.

But then Jesus was born, walked around the earth, preached some and screwed up everything in the best way possible. You know, in reading through the Old Testament this past few months what I feel when I read it is a whole bunch of people walking around in turmoil. Never able to live up to Gods law. It was hard. They made false idols, the believed in people and they walked around aimlessly. They were impatient. They wanted quick results.

I feel like that's what we do in marriage. We look at our spouse and we just get tired. We get tired of maybe being treated poorly. We get tired of our needs not being met. We get lonely...We might feel that life would be better somehow if we were with someone else, in a different house driving a different car.

But all that means is more wandering.


I believe there are simple truths in marriage that goes against everything the world says. Believe me, you will never hear a marriage counselor say this stuff.

You can not change or manipulate your spouse into something to fit your needs. Only God can change the deepest sinful natured parts of us. Yelling, ignoring, dirty looks, rolling your eyes makes you farther away from God, and Satan draws in and starts his work. He is happy when you react in anger and is excited that you opened the door for him with your very own two hands. Demanding that someone changes in order for you to love them is like Jesus saying, I wont die for you because you are sinful, therefore no one gets to go to heaven.

Prayer is the only way for us to hand our battles over to God. When you get on the floor with tears in your eyes and say Father I can not handle this situation one more minute alone...you give room for God to move. He hears you and we are assured of that in his word. His heart aches for you and he has a plan for reconciliation.

The world will tell you that if you have irreconcilable differences you are entitled to a divorce. But God did something totally crazy good and sent Jesus here. And Jesus walked around the earth preaching the heart of God and some called him crazy. But what he said was that we are to love first. Because he loved us first.

And the same goes for marriage. How in the world would I be drawing nearer to Christ if I said to God, I will only stay here if I am happy and my needs are met. Jesus walked around here with no love. People hated him, people laughed at him and eventually crucified him. And his very last words through all that pain and suffering were, forgive them.

We are compelled through the Holy Spirit to love, because we were loved. Broken and a mess, we were and are loved. We are compelled to forgive, because we were once forgiven.

If we really want to press in...if we really want to see the best that God has for us, we need to lay down all the expectations and comparisons and realize that this life is not our own. He created us for his purpose and his plan, his way is always going to be better than ours.

My God.

His way is better.

Something really crazy has happened in my own life, the more I read the word and believe it and act on it, the happier I am. The closer I feel to God, the less I actually care about my circumstances. Its crazy. Sort of like His light shines brighter over everything. Like I would rather have him near, giving me the grace to be more like him, than be seperated from him with all the money, the best husband, the biggest house. Take away my God, take me too. Because I cant do this world alone.


Let us lay down everything that keeps us from him. Let us lay down our grumbling. Let us lay down our selfishness. Let us lay down our hopelessness. Let us take up love. Let us take up forgiveness. Let us put our hope back in him and him alone. Let us share our stories of redemption in marriage and how God saves.

The reason why marriage is attacked so much is because that is where the church starts. If we cant keep our families together, Satan knows nothing will stay together. God is the multiplier, Satan is the divider and he is waiting at each and every door.

You do not have to wait for someone to change to love them. Jesus didn't wait for us.

You do not have to fight your own battles. Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.

You are not alone in your suffering. Jesus suffered so he could be our comforter. He feels your isolation, your loneliness...he knows it all.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you and say all kinds of evil things about you falsely on account of me. Rejoice and be glad because your reward is great in heaven, for they persecuted the prophets before you in the same way.

Sometimes God takes us on long, winding roads. And sometimes that road deals with marriage. But I know in my own marriage, the more I put on Jesus and reject the ways of my flesh, the closer I get to God. I don't want to get to heaven and have God say, how did that go for you? That plan you had to try to meet all your own needs? Because I had something bigger and better planned for you..my child. And I was there to help you...you just didn't accept it.

That's how I feel about the instinct we have to run away when things don't go our way. God hates divorce. And the reason why he doesn't give any exceptions in the bible, except for adultery, is because it would takes years to write all of them...the list is exhaustive and inevitable. Its all probably going to happen.

Okay, but only if he doesn't give you the appropriate attention..

Okay, but only is she doesn't satisfy you in the bedroom...

Okay, but only if she lets herself go...

the list could go on.

My husband and I have our own redemption story in our marriage. We have been through alot and I pray one day our testimony will reach many...its big. And believing God when he says he will make a way where there appears to be no way, is what has gotten me through alot. By the worlds standards, we have every reason to be apart. But God has slowly glued together so many broken pieces in both our hearts and has taught me what real love is. Its undeserved. Its blind. It keeps no records of wrongs. It forgives. Its gentle. Its patient...

Last night God was gently speaking into my spirit about my own situation. I have spent my entire life trying to make people, food, identities and things fill me up...fill those loneliest darkest places in my soul and they never do. People always fail me. Food always makes me feel like a slave.  

But he just keeps saying, when your ready to hand all that over to me, and let me be your everything...when your ready to get rid of all your own expectations of people, when your ready to turn away from all your false Gods,  when your ready to nail all of your old self to your own cross, Ill be waiting...


The same is true in marriage. Let no man separate what God has joined together. Jesus is the only way...the only way to reconciliation with us to God, and reconciliation within our marriage union. Let us be more like him, forgiving, full of mercy, slow to anger...patient and kind, meek in spirit, and less like ourselves...

Please God, help us to be more like you.
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Monday, April 15, 2013

infused fruit water/tea with the TAKEYA pitchers

 
 
*** first of all let me start out by saying I dont get paid to write/review products,Im not that cool
 
 
Did you know that it has been since October of last year since I have had a diet soda???? Praise God. I just knew like smoking, that one day I would wake up and just have the power of the holy spirit in me and just quit. I quit smoking 5 years ago but the diet soda was a BAD bad habit. I literally drank no water and would only drink anything flavored. And the reason I had to drink diet was because of my food allergies, I am allergic to corn and everything else on the planet. I drink regular carbonated water and the guys at the grocery store laugh at me every time I come through with it because they cant believe I am actually paying for water in a can. I agree, and I laugh too.


So lately I have been drinking tea. I am a coffee drinker but I have been craving something and I don't know why but iced green tea just makes me healthy and light and full of life. I'm not kidding. So yesterday I stumbled across this product at Costco and I jumped in. There is something about being able to make your own stuff. I just have always felt that products that empower people to make their own choices are the best. These pitchers are a m a z i n g.


For one, they can withstand boiling and freezing temps. And second, they are tall and skinny and can store easy!!! They even make accessories for them and one of them is a thermal jacket to throw on so you can take it with you!!
So I just started small. I am not quite into the herb/cucumber/mint thang yet but I will get brave one day...




 


you can throw the tea bags into the basket pitcher to brew your tea and then remove them!!! And am I the only one in America that didnt know that they make BIG family size tea bags? These are the things the Duck Dynasty people should talk about...





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Friday, April 12, 2013

some big news!

Remember a few weeks ago I told you that I was working on something big and I needed your prayer??? Well today I am happy to announce that I am now working with wood!!! I am still in the beginning stages, trying to iron out the details but....this is the first sign I made with my own design! I will be making my own designs and selling them out of my shop along with my original paintings on canvas. These, just like my flags, will be on a commission basis, not ready to ship as of right now. Only until I figure out this whole thing!!!
 



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Monday, April 8, 2013

not one of them recanted...


 
 
 
they all saw the risen savior...
 
 
 



Matthew suffered martyrdom in Ethopia, killed by a sword wound
 
not one of them took it back.
 
Mark died in Alexandria, Egypt, dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead.
 

wait wait WAIT! I promise, we made it up....
 

Luke was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost
 
It was a lie...spare me.
 
 
John was boiled in a huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos where he wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation. The Apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as a bishop in modern Turkey. He died an old man, the only Apostle to die peacefully.
 
If you saw Jesus, the man who has been preparing you for his work....
 
Peter,was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross, according to Church tradition, because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die the same way that Jesus Christ had died
 
If you saw him die, and rise again and promise he was coming back...
 
James the Just, the leader of the Church in Jerusalem and brother of Jesus, was thrown down more than a hundred feet from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club. This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.
 
would you deny him at the hour of your own suffering?
 
James the Greater, a son of Zebedee, was a fisherman by trade when Jesus called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the Church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman soldier who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.
 
Hes real.
 
Bartholomew, also known as Nathanael, was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed about our Lord in present day Turkey. He was whipped to death for his preaching in Armenia.
 
He was real for them...
 
Thomas was speared and died on one of his missionary trips to establish the Church in India.
 
And they spent their remaining years preaching Jesus because they knew...
 
 
Jude, another brother of Jesus, was killed with arrows after refusing to deny his faith in Christ.
Hes real. Hes risen...and hes coming back.
 
Matthias, the Apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and beheaded
 
A few of them even spoke of their moment of suffering as joy.
 
Barnabas, one of the group of seventy disciples, was stoned to death at Salonica
 
Is he real to you?
 
Paul was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment which allowed him to write his many epistles to the Churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational doctrines of Christianity, from a large portion of the New Testament.
 

All of them suffered and died a horrific death and not one of them took it back. They all knew there was a God waiting for them...
 
Make him real in your home, make him real in your marriage, make him real in your church, make him real to your children...
 
Make him real to you.
 


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Friday, April 5, 2013

10 things


playing along with my gorgeous art friend !
ten things you don't know about me...


1. I don't like clothes. I do everything in my power to get to the point where I can take off my shoes and my jacket. And I really don't like long sleeved shirts the most. I feel crazy restricted and cant breathe.

2. I have been to Ireland and Spain.

3. I never had any clue of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Like not in the slightest.

4. I always have music playing.

5. Until this year, I had never actually read the bible for myself. Just heard it.

6. I have never taken an art class.

7. when I first had Grace I enjoyed taking care of her but never really liked being a mom and now that I have the 2 and God has changed me, I love and cherish each moment with them and have released all guilt of missed time and I am living in peace as a mom now...

8. My favorite meal is meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

9. It could be summer all year long and it would never get old..

10. My husband and I are crazy Lynyrd Skynyrd fans.



 photo LINKUPBUTTON.jpg
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Thursday, April 4, 2013

I will remember my Exodus

 
 
 
 
Exodus 13 reads....
 So Moses said to the people, “This is a day to remember forever—the day you left Egypt, the place of your slavery. Today the Lord has brought you out by the power of his mighty hand. (Remember, eat no food containing yeast.) On this day in early spring, in the month of Abib,you have been set free.  You must celebrate this event in this month each year after the Lord brings you into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Hivites, and Jebusites. (He swore to your ancestors that he would give you this land—a land flowing with milk and honey.)
 
 
 
Hes here. Right here.
 
 
I cant explain it to you and its not a particular day. Its a number of days this month that God has promised me, I'm setting you free.
 
 
Something happened with the art today that has brought me to my knees. I cant breathe. I cant handle his goodness. Hes given me wisdom into something that he desires for me and I just cant wait to live it out. I cant wait to adventure in this with him. I cant wait to share the gospel.
 
 
I will remember my exodus. I will remember it always.
 
 
Yesterday I felt like God was saying this is the year of hope for so many people.  I am experiencing physical healing, financial healing and a healing so deep down inside my soul that only God knows what it is...and I just cant keep this goodness to myself.
 
 
Please journey with me here. Please keep your eyes open, your hearts open. Jesus is here. Hes waiting to be invited into your healing too.
 
Don't forget there is victory at the cross and our debt has been paid and we are a living breathing free people.
 
We are free. 
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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

My journey in overcoming my worship of food. Part 1.

 


I am about 8 years old and the pain of my parents divorce and the weight of the world is so heavy that the minute the door closes, I open another. I reach into the refrigerator and grab the first thing that promises to ease my pain...

I'm 20 years old and living on my own with my boyfriend and am experiencing isolation, fear, paranoia and physical pain so deep that I remember that little 8 year old girl and again turn to anything that I can consume to lessen the pain...now its not just food, its alcohol and cigarettes.

I'm 25 years old and my husband is about to go to war for the first time, and my fear and worry have gripped my soul so hard that I remember that 20 year old girl and how food, booze and cigarettes eased her pain and now I add in a cycle of sin that will forever change my life...

And now I am here at 30 years old, still feeling in bondage. Every night I go to sleep, I have no rest. I put everyone to bed and still feel so tired and worn out, I still feel the need to please everyone, heal everyone, take care of every last need. Except I have given up the booze, I have given up the cigarettes now its just food. It seems like the food has now gripped so hard it has taken the weight of all the other sin and multiplied.

I'm standing in the parking lot of my daughters school and I am crying out to God, give me a revelation. Lead me to you. Show me.

So now its Easter Sunday and I am laid up in bed with illness and I bought a book Redemption by Mike Wilkerson. And I have felt for some time that the time had come. I was ready. I wasn't ready before. There was so much I needed to see, to learn.

Diets don't work for addicts.

And thinking that they will is a hollow thought full of selfish pride. And every time I enter a new email into my fitness pal to start over, every time I went on Jenny Craig, every time I told myself Monday is the day...I was saying to God, hey, I got this. thanks.

Now I'm not saying that diets or restrictions are bad, what I am saying is that its not the place to start. The cold hard truth here is that if you are here because you are a few pounds over weight and you just want to fit into that swimsuit, I'm not talking to you.

I am talking to the girl who waits until everyone goes to bed to sit on the couch or lay in bed and eat. Or the girl who shamefully eats 40 pieces of Halloween candy and then lies to her kids...Or the woman who drives through the drive thru and eats an entire meal before she makes dinner. Or the person who has been on 932 diets in her life, fails at all of them and lives in shame.

I am talking to the person who lives in bondage to food. Even the healthy ones. Enter in any situation here where it takes the place of God. It consumes you, it makes you feel guilty or ashamed, it takes over your life. Or maybe your reading this and your thinking wow, I didnt know that _____ was secretly killing me...

Here's the deal. Here's where I believe the lies. The lie that my past pain is the reason I eat to numb the current and I am stuck here forever. The lie that I failed today so I ruined it and that I might as well just eat whatever i want because I am already a pathetic loser. Or the lie that hey, I'm only 190 pounds, I'm not that obese, its not that big of a deal...lies.


Its food, its alcohol, its drugs, its porn its even good things. Its anything we use that leaves us serving it instead of God. Its whatever we do that separates us from him. Its what Satan uses to leave us feeling guilty, shameful and alone.

So I was reading in the the book Redemption and I just knew that the answer was at the cross. Its Easter for goodness sakes. This is what we live for. This is why we have life, and its not supposed to be that way. On the cross, Jesus said, It is finished.

What does that mean for the sinner? And if you think overeating is not a sin, just remember the way it makes you feel. Does it make you feel closer to God? Does it leave you feeling spiritually full and light on your feat and are you walking in freedom? Are you free? Are you really free????

We are just sinful people drawn to lust. We are in the business of making idols down here like crazy. Mine just happens to be food. I think about it all the time, I worry about it and I obsess over it. They weren't kidding around when they said Satan is here to lie steal and destroy and he will use whatever he can to bait you and hook you and sink you, if you let him.

An interesting part that just rocked my world in the book is when he says if you had everything you wanted, all the money, your were completely healed and you had all your family and friends and life was all better but there was no Jesus, would you still be happy?

I cant get over that.

All the scenarios. If I was thin and gorgeous and was on the cover of fit magazine, but I had no Jesus, I would want to die. None of it matters without him. Because everything is him. He is everything. He is the answer. He is who came to break the bondage of sin and idols and everything that separates him from the father. And in fact on the cross the weight was so heavy for him that he had a moment where he cried out, father, why have you forsaken me? Our sin was so heavy that for a moment, for just one moment he felt separated from God. Why have you left me?

Boom.

Its how I feel. Every single time I open my pantry and let Satan in. See, also in the book, Mike describes that moment before we light up, before we open the door, right before we click on the mouse to indulge in Internet porn...as the moment we are entering into a conversation with the devil. We are giving him room to bait us into sin.

And because I want you to understand this and really get this, I will explain it the way it relates to me. If I have just made a healthy dinner and stuck to my calorie amount and I'm feeling good...Ill go out for a walk with the girls, get home and shower and put everyone to bed. Then I will settle in on the couch and I know this is my bad time. I'm alone. I'm tired. I go to the kitchen and say okay well I will just have something. I grab one Popsicle. Then I eat it and I feel good. Its enough I say. Then Satan says well you could just have one more it wont hurt. Then I eat the entire box and now i feel like a fat, lowlife, disgusting gross pig. I am weak. I am empty and I feel so lonely. God has left the room. He hasn't left my heart, but hes left the room.

And can I just say that I think as do many scientific studies confirm, that eating disorders are harder than any other addiction to break because we need to eat. My God, we need to face our weakness, we need to do it every single day for the rest of life. Except Jesus came and said man shall not eat on bread alone...and then the whole darn thing changed. It just changed. And I imagine Jesus hungry in the desert while Satan is tempting him with food and he resists. And that is why he died on the cross for me and for you to release us from that bondage. From that moment. And the scales have fallen off my eyes and now I can see, the power is in Jesus Christ alone.

And it really has taken me 10 years to get here. And I cant explain exactly what has taken place in my soul but its something. Because all of a sudden I feel God right on me. I feel him so close that I can literally feel a presence. Its like a shadow. I can feel him saying to me, now that I have shown you , you know what to do. Call on me. In that moment. And now I pray. I pray over each and everything i eat that it would be enough. That I would be given the power to say no. That I would be given the power to stand in front of the conversation within my own self that leads to sin. I pray that he is near and he stops it.

The problem is, we have become so set on will power. Our own will. Our own power. We have become a society of answers. If you have this, you take  this and this will happen. And I know this because i have tried everything. And God is waiting to be all of that. We don't just turn to God when we have failed and use him as our last resort. We don't just give into temptation and cry out to God why don't you deliver me from this affliction??? Heal me father from this affliction...The answers are at the cross. He says i have already conquered sin. I gave my son for you.

For you.

So that you may walk in freedom and your chains would be broken. You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free...

I have seen my life without God. And I am lonely. And my own sin has kept me from all the wonders of this life I have yet to even skim the surface of. I am now seeing that he didn't create me to just get by. He created me to live. To live in Victory. To walk in freedom from everything that was meant to keep me down. This is his will.

I'm finally curious enough, I have felt enough of his presence to know that i don't want it to go away. I want to see what was meant for me. I want the weeds, the deep dark corners that hold the weeds to be wiped clean.

His blood to cover it all.

From the book Redemption by Mark Wilkerson

"If you put your hope in your mere will power to stop your habitual sinning, or in your track record of days ie: sobriety or days on a meal plan to keep distance between you and your shameful past, you'll  be put to shame the moment you stumble and those false hopes fail you. If your hope lies in your ability to mask your wounds by acting strong, in the constant affirmation of another to make you feel worthy, or in your vigilance to avoid being harmed again, you' ll inevitably be put to shame because you area not strong enough to save yourself. no one can ultimately secure your identity against your own deep doubts, and you'll never have a risk free life as long as you live in a fallen world.

Your only true hope for lasting healing that shields you from shame is Jesus. But you may ask "how can I be healed by him when he isnt here for me to reach out and touch the hem of his garment? The answer is that he has already begun the healing. When you are in Christ, the old has already passed away, and the new has already begun (2nd Cor. 5:17) You are now a new creation in Christ. He has already touched you with his forgiveness and his healing power. Like the leper, he has already taken away your shame, adopting you into his family where you now belong with no more shame. Whats more, he has sent his spirit to live in you to complete the restoration. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead has been sent to give you new life and reverse sins effect, remaking you from the inside out.

Romans 8:11   1 Cor 15:45    2Cor 3 :18; 5:17    Col 3:9 -10

The Holy Spirit will not stop until you are perfected. In the end, you will be fully redeemed, fully healed body and soul, not merely returned to normal whatever that is....but made glorious, fit for a new heaven and a new earth in Gods kingdom.

Romans 8:23   Phil 1:6   Ist John 3:2-3


Now while the healing has begun, it usually doesn't happen all at once. There are days when it seems to be going so slowly and you don't feel like a new creation. You are painfully aware of the lingering corruption in your soul, or haunted by memories of some past sin, or feel a pang from some old wound. Shame sneaks up and whispers, "this is the real you, guilty, corrupt, violated and damaged." The enemy seizes the moment of weakness to condemn and accuse you, pointing to the not yet completeness of your healing as evidence that you aren't who you thought you were. He would have you believe those past sins and wounds are what define you , instead of the new creation. He may even plant the seed of doubt in your mind about God himself, "How can you believe God heals? You aren't healed. Look at you!!!

The experience may be somewhat like that of the Israelites when they approached the Red Sea, terrified of the threat ahead and harassed by the enemy gaining ground from behind. For a moment, they seemed to have forgotten who God was, the Redeemer who had freed them from slavery. At the same time, they forgot who they were to him. When he brought them out of Egypt, he called them "my firstborn son" Ex 4:22, showing how dear they were to his heart. As a father, he had promised to defend and protect his children as he brought them home. Would he now abandon them? What we find at the Red Sea is that God not only redeems his people from slavery and gives them a privileged status as his children but also acts to defend them against any evidence that they are not truly his children or that his not truly their God."


Go buy the book, get in the word, run to church, pray to God, ask for Revelations....and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

184

 
 I knew this Easter was not going to be what I thought in my head it would be. There was no church for me, I was in bed sick for a few days and couldn't do it. My husband took the girls to church and ate Wendys for lunch, Happy Easter.
 
 
Except an amazing blogger I follow posted a photo on Instagram about a book she had started and I saw it and knew God was pulling me there. Its called Redemption by Mike Wilkerson. What was my word for the year?
 
Redemption.
 
 
Everyone scattered off in the morning and I settled in, locked the door and opened and closed all 400 pages. I knew that God was changing me. I knew that he wanted me to get something, like really get it. Like not just hear the words, see the words, but really really understand what they mean. Easter this year was a time of really understanding what the birth, death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ really means for me. Yes, for me.I cant wait to share everything that I learned. I promise I will.
 
 
Until then, I wanted to update about what the Lord is calling me to do here on out.
 
I have decided to give my first and best (Gods cut) of the business to our home church. Last month was Missions month and God just really captured my heart for the missionaries that we have and support. Each one would come and speak and I just found myself figuratively standing up, raising my hand and saying I'm in. I'M IN!
 
 
For the month of March I worked for my family, I worked for God and I worked for Mercy Ships. $184 dollars goes to them, goes to God. Still, I'm blown away at the people I have met through selling the art and what an amazing experience this has been. I am blown away at Gods ability to provide and how much he wants to bless us. We had to go through many years of just making it so that we could understand our priorities.

We are currently the bad kinda debt free. Prasie God. Still have our house and our cars...but the bad kinda debt, gone.

If you are struggling in your finances and most of the world is...hey our country is, we serve a living God who is waiting. Hes waiting for us to realize where our money comes from and how to spend it. We had to take the long road in understanding everything he wanted to show us. I am still a tiny hesitant every time God tells me to give and I look at our account and just want to turn away and pretend he never asked. But I feel him grab my hand every time and just said, trust me. I am your provider...don't you see those birds out there and how I provide for them?? Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

My heart has changed. My priorities have changed. I'm learning to store up my treasure in Heaven. Its all backwards according to the world. Make the money, keep the money, hoard the money, love the money...but Jesus says no. And now I see why.

Praise God.

I feel like I am walking down a path and I am not looking left or right anymore. I feel like with each step I take, something comes off. As if I had on so many pieces of clothes, I was so heavy and weighed down and I was moving slow...I was constantly tripped up, trying to readjust everything for myself. But the further I go into discovering Jesus and his ways...the lighter I become.

I can feel him near.


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