Friday, March 15, 2013

sinners and saints welcome here...

my goodness.

My heart is just pained today. My mind is spinning with all the labels and the thoughts and the stances. I hate the divided world this is. I hate it.

I wrote about being a conservative republican last week and I just cant get it off my mind what those labels do to us as a people. So much is not understood through writing here, you don't know my heart. You don't see my heart. You don't see any ones heart really unless you really know them.

I am not perfect. And that is why I need God. Because he is perfect. Jesus, perfect.

I need that. I wont ever be it.

If its a liberal stance to give to the poor, its mine too. Its also a Jesus thing. I just think we should do it personally from our own hearts, give in our own ways according to what we are able to do and where the holy spirit leads.

Maybe I should be considered uneducated because I don't really know where I fit in. The only thing I am sure of is I fit in with God. I believe in the gospel. I believe in it because I have seen it at work in my own life.

I believe in justice. Standing up for the fatherless...for poverty.

Maybe that makes me a little liberal? A little republican? A little conservative? A little democratic?

On gay marriage? I just feel like you should know that its not my place to place judgement on you. How horrible I would feel and not drawn to anything peaceful if you yelled at me for all my stuff.

accusing, pointing fingers, labeling, does not lead to peace.

I can only speak from my own personal experience. I am not a religious person. I did not grow up in church. I went to a Christian High School and smoked and drank my way through it....

I just need Jesus because I cant do this life alone anymore.

I did not wake up one day and decide to stop the sin in my life simply because it was a rule that God wanted me to follow.The sin in my life, while it felt good, ultimately led me to my own personal destruction. The sin in my life, while it felt good, led me to want to kill myself.

But what I do know 100% without a doubt is that at my very worst moment in my life, God said, its okay, I forgive you...

I was sitting at my dining room table when my husband was in Afghanistan and I had just lived the worst moment of my life, sin exposed and I wasn't sure of anything. I wasn't sure of my marriage, and I wasn't sure that I even wanted to live anymore. I told myself if God didn't come into my mess that I had created that I was surely going to take death into my own hands. I just knew that it was the last straw for me. My ride with Satan, my broken spirit and my broken body needed God or that was it.

And God took one look at me and took me in, again.

And from here I stand with new life. A second chance. And a desire to shout to the earth about my God. My new heart and his heart full of grace and mercy written all over it, extended to me, for free.

My new life.

You aren't any different than me. But you are just as loved.

Your gay? I love you.

Your a drinker and a smoker? I love you.

Your a liar? I love you.

You do drugs? I love you.

Your a cheater? I love you.

Your angry? I love you.

I get it. I get why your there.

And I will only speak from my own personal experience of how I got here.We are on the same playing field. God does not want you to hurt. He wants you to be at peace. He wants for you all the things he planned, to come to pass. And if I can serve a God who loves you just the way you are, right now, then I will praise him. Because he loved me too.

I just love you friend. I just want you to be at peace within your own soul. I found mine in Christ and thats why I am here, giving my testimony everyday to his goodness and faithfulness.

sinners and are welcome here.
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