Tuesday, February 12, 2013

One year ago today, he changed things.

Last year, the Lord spoke.

And one year ago today, I moved...

He told me to paint. He told me to serve. He told me to trust him. He told me it would all count for something...He told me he wasn't going to waste it.

For some reason today my Grace and I started to pull weeds in our front yard. They all just caught my eye as we were going inside... so I grabbed a shovel and she put on her gloves and anxiously awaited every time I slammed my foot on the heavy shovel, digging around each weed three or four times, trying to loosen it up. We started to make progress, she kept asking me to move faster. I couldn't. She asked why they even existed.

I told her it was so we could really appreciate the flowers...

She asked me where they came from. I said I didn't know, she told me evil made them...

I started to think about the weeds, how some weeds are so rooted deep down in the soil they take alot of work, alot of people, alot of patience, alot of God to dig them out. And I thought about how I could just pick them up from the surface, but they would need to be picked again soon...

I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be in my own life. I have never been so amazed at everything around me, the opportunities, the love...and I cant help but praise him for waiting on me, until all the weeds were uprooted.

entitlement, envy, skepticism, lust, anger, ungratefulness, fear... all weeds.

Weeds that exist in my soul that have prevented me from walking into my own destiny.

But what amazes me to the very core, is that even when I was full of disgusting weeds, he still loved me. He still provided for me. He still claimed me as his. He still had a plan.

I still have weeds, they just arent so many and they arent so deep.

my first painting
Let my first ever painting, one year ago, be a reflection of what my soul was longing for... I was waiting, most days not patiently like this bird, for God to just move. But oh so much had to be cleared out of the way for this to happen. So many things I have tried on my own will, with my own resources, my own plan...and so many things failed.

And as I sit here right now thinking about you all, I am grateful beyond measure. I am grateful that you see the beauty in what I do. But what I am most grateful for is that God still saw the beauty in me, even when i didn't. that he had this waiting in the wings for me, under his wing, tucked away for the very moment that he knew would bring him the most glory...

a shop, a blog, a website, materials, financial resources, sales, free advertising all of it. none of it I could provide, but he did.

He gave us a way to get out of debt. He gave me a way to serve. He gave this family, this girl a new life.

I have no idea where this is going. most days i feel like i have no idea the direction this is headed, and i am finally okay with that. I used to be the girl who if she couldn't see the big picture, she wouldn't do it. But as I take each day out of my own hands and place it in his, I feel more safe. I feel able.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...means something different these days. Because I cant do all things, but I can do the things he wants me to do. There is an overwhelming sense of purpose, safety, creativity, worship, gratitude and grace that fills you up when you step out of your own self and walk right into your God given destiny. And I in a place where if he says move, I move. If he says trust me, I trust him.
A year ago, my husband and I prayed in that hotel room that God would lead us to the place he wanted us to live. We were tired. We had a new baby and i was still nursing and the Navy had a new place for us to be, our fourth military move in 6 years...we just wanted a sign. We asked for a sign. Give us peace, we knew there would be peace in that place. But what I didn't expect was a whole new life. I didn't expect any of this....
Thank you for taking this journey with me. Please know that I think of each and every single one of you, I pray for you. I pray that God uses my story to reveal much about himself. Thank you for supporting my art.
Thank you. 

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