Monday, July 16, 2012

The dreaded email I was not hoping for....

This is what we were doing a few hours ago when I got the dreaded email in my inbox...

This email is something my husband and I have thought about and consumed ourselves with (probably just me since I am the worrier) since we moved.

What could possibly be so bad that it would make me write 2 blog posts in one day breaking the blogging rules???

Our air conditioner in NC quite working.

Deployments? done it.
Physical disease? Had it.
having a baby by myself? did it. not scared of it.
But the air conditioner...

Its a big deal when you don't have any savings. Its a big deal when it was a mistake to even buy a house in the first place and you don't have any means to keep up with it.

But what was I just writing about turning my worry into worship???

I just feel like this is it.
These are the moments that having and using faith are made for.

I have turned a major corner in my relationship with God lately. I am in a place where I am so, desperately seeking to be closer to him. I am so tired of worrying and stressing over everything in my life and then calling myself a believer. I am so tired of rushing around everywhere trying to make things happen for myself.

I want to run into these trials with the full armor on and not ever look back.

I want to quit writing about James and how we should count our trials joy. I want to live the very life breathing word I write about and watch God move mountains, clear paths and be my savior.
We need a savior.

Its either a 100 dollar fix
a 6,000 dollar one.
 And we are only prepared for one of those scenarios.

Either way, there is nothing I could ever do to to fix this.The only thing I can do is pray.
I could rush around trying to paint some stuff...
I could panic and eat some cake.
Or I could enjoy the day with my girls and read and re read the very life breathing words I am in need of.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 

Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved
Psalm 55:22

What can we learn? What part do we play in our own problems?
I guess if we have made mistakes, done things without asking God, like buying a house, we have some consequences. There are consequences to our actions that aren't in line with His will.
We make mistakes.
But I know that God works all things for our good.
And he is a God of infinite love, mercy and grace.
And we need all of that.
And I am standing on his promises today.

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