Tuesday, July 31, 2012

My good portion.

If I have made the past 30 years about me...

Then the next 30 will be about him.

I have had the most amazing few mornings of my life this week. Grace is in Vacation Bible School at church this week and I cant leave. I am the only mom still in the background, holding her baby, crying tears of joy.I sit and watch what Jesus is doing in such young hearts...I watch the room glow in his presence. I sit in the seats and watch my tiny blond haired miracle worship up in the front row. I am watching her sing out, cry out, and learn about our amazing creator. Love him, worship him, and let him love her back. I quiver, I smile, I cry, I get real quiet.

The story of Mary and Martha

 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to what he was saying. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:38-42).

Our sermon this week at church was about the story of Mary and Martha. If you don't know it, read it. Google it, open your bible. Because I am definitely a Martha. Filling my life with busy I need to do's...I need to be's. Wandering about aimlessly looking for the path, trying to understand the path. Carrying way more than I should. Never understanding what the good portion is or even realizing that I am allowed to choose it.

My good portion has become resting in his presence every night while my family sleeps. I take a bath, and I stare at the moon outside my big window. I talk to God, I pray to God and I thank God. I invite him in and sit in his presence.

My good portion has become spending time with my babies, not because I have to...but because I have this burning desire to just be with them. Watch them, learn from them and give them the good news.

My good portion has become spending an hour in a full auditorium with kids...sitting in the sidelines dancing to some worship songs. Not worrying about whats going on in the world outside that building, not worrying about what emails I need to respond to or what bills I need to pay or what meals need to be cooked or what doctor we need to go see...my good portion is resting in His presence.

My good portion has become trading the tv and computer for worship music and the bible, not because I am supposed to but because I need it, and it feels good.

My good portion has become honoring the sabbath. Not running around trying to prepare for the week. I have traded that in for swimming in the backyard, throwing a meal in the crock pot, eating sandwiches for lunch and curling up on the couch with my husband. So many moments I have missed in this life because I refuse to sit.

I want to be a Mary. I want to just curl up in the arms of Jesus and stay there. I want the presence of God to be surrounding me all my days. I want his presence to be my strongest weapon.

So tomorrow we will go again and I will probably stay...again. I will probably dance around and cry tears of joy because I am safe and I am loved, in his presence. I will probably watch my Grace and thank God for her and her child like faith in my life and how I have learned so much from her. And I will be praying for more of his presence in my day. I will probably be praying to be more like Mary. When the storms come or when confusion settles in...or when I feel like a big mess, I will just sit at the feet of Jesus.

I will chose my good portion, because THAT will never be taken away from me.

And my good portion is Jesus.

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