We had a great day.
Its so strange sometimes when I reflect back on my own childhood and watch what is going on in my children's life at the moment. When I was little, we went to the same parade in Hinsdale. We had block parties and went to Lisle Fest every single year. I can remember riding the tilt a whirl and eating amazing carnie food. And I can also remember the bands playing and all the blankets and fireworks...and when we got home, the neighbor hood boys would be lighting them off all through the night.
Nowadays, we frantically google last minute "where are the fireworks in _____ ????"
There is no stability in this life, at all. Well there is...and your lookin at it.
I will never be able to give my girls what I had. We will never grow up in the same town or go to school with the same friends. Every 2 - 3 years I will have to tell the girls that they are switching schools again. Every time we move we will have to find another church home. Every time we move we will have to find another home! But that doesn't mean I am giving them less.
But if I dwell on that, my life will never amount to anything. I would be constantly comparing my story to my children's story and the two are not the same.
Sometimes, especially for me being so sensitive and attached to people and things, its hard. I cry when I think about making Norwegian meatballs and Krumkaka cookies with my grandma every year at Christmas. Who will remember these things when she is gone? Who is going to carry our family traditions on?! I am sad when I think about all of our old houses and the different people living in them. I often think about my grandparents and how things were when I was a kid. Its hard for me to watch my children with the inconsistency. Its hard for me to watch them have no family around. My fondest memories as a child are times spent with my grandma. Family dinners and pancake breakfasts...huge Christmas and Easter celebrations with tons of family around. All these traditions and memories just come flooding back and sometimes bring sadness when they should be bringing joy.
It became very real to me this year that if I am going to move on from the attachment I have to my childhood and my memories, I have to chose to find the joy in our story, because there is so much. The amount of people we meet and the lives that touch us...and the lives we are able to touch is just a blessing. All the places we travel and see... all of it!
I need to let God write our story.
Its so amazing because my husband always pulls me back from my sadness and makes me laugh. I am just reminded all the time why I am his wife. He lightens up my heavy moods and heavy heart...he makes me look forward to our story.
Grace, If you ever read this, I want to make sure you know that I ran out to the grocery store in my pajamas the other night to get blue nail polish at 9 pm. I did that because every year I painted my nails and toes for the 4th. So I did it for you this year and I just want you to know how special that was for me. I'm glad you loved them!