Thursday, February 9, 2012

Goodbyes













Goodbyes. I hate them. I have not been good at them since I was a child. And I don't mean just a little sad and some tears I mean I feel like my world gets rocked when I have to say goodbye. It doesn't matter if it was a place or a person...a time or season in my life, pregnancy, a death, or just a vacation ending. I don't handle it well. It gets better the more the years pass I think because my relationship with God gets stronger. He always seems to fill voids where I have them and comfort me. I just get very used to things and people and am very comforted by routine. I have caught myself questioning God some days as to why He would choose someone soooo super sensitive to be a military wife, and constantly move and be away from family. Why He would allow me to go through this all the time. But after getting to know Him more the past few years I have learned two things. One, never question Him. You can look for insight and wisdom in situations but never question His big plan. It was always supposed to be the way it is. And two, everything that He puts in front of you, He helps you through. And it all works together for your good. Every time I leave a duty station, or my family comes and goes, I draw nearer to Him. On a level I don't think I would be able to if I was in the same town, in the same house, near the same family and friends. Today was hard though because it was the first time I saw tears from my Grace, as her grandma left. She played tough and said nothing was wrong but she had tears. And THAT makes me sad. Now its not only me, but my babies who will be in this life we live. I have a lot of years of moving and tearing them away from their friends...a lifetime of new houses and saying goodbyes. A life of saying goodbye to daddy when deploys again. I hope my children never hurt like I have.But if they do, it will be an opportunity to teach them to draw near to our Father as well. So maybe now its time to concentrate on the Hellos in life and embrace the changes God gives my family. And maybe I am truly the blessed one because my relationships are never taken for granted. Thanks mom for a great trip full of lots of projects and some great chicken Marsala! We will never forget the special moments we have! We love you!
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